don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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