found the other keg... it's in the tree
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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