I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
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