He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
