I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
