It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
