living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
