I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
she told me i tasted like america
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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