I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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