I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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