You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
