After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Randomize
