haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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