I'm really into asian looking animals
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
