hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I just blew my weed a kiss
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
