Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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