Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
