the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize