Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
