there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
and she was petting her beer can
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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