You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
