thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
You are the jesus of drinking
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize