you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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