Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
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It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
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I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
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