I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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