Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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