Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
