its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
