you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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