Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
