I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
