there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Mom said you looked used
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
