WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
