Is it normal to miss your booty call?
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
