Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize