don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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