I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
