my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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