Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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