We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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