i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize
