i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
