beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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