We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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