oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
