Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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