stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
