i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
