I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
