Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
