Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
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