It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
