But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
