You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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