the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
