the new term for farting is butt boxing.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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